What Is Anxiety

What is anxiety?

If you start searching for a good or accurate definitions of anxiety I think you will get lost, because almost all the definitions you may find in the internet revolve around the idea of social anxiety and here are some examples of what is anxiety that I grabed from the internet :

  Anxiety is a general term for several disorders that cause nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worrying. These disorders affect how we feel and behave, and they can manifest real physical symptoms.

Anxiety affects our whole being. It affects how we feel, how we behave and has very real physical symptoms. It feels a bit like fear but whereas we know what we are frightened of, we often don't know what we are anxious about.

Anxiety is an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints and rumination.

As you see here that all these definitions do not provide you with a clear idea of what anxiety is .

Now, before I give you my little definition of anxiety, I want to ask you some questions that if you answer them, my little deffinition will become easier for you to understand and grasp, ok.

Question n°1 : when do you feel anxiety,when you are alone or when you are with other people ?

Question n°2 : why anxiety goes away whenever you are alone ? Why it comes back when you are around paople?

So the idea of anxiety, or whenever we talk about what causes anxiety we mainly talk about CONNECTION with other people, it’s connection why we’re here, it’s what’s gives purpose and meaning to ourlives, that’s what is all about. So my little definition of anxiety is :

Anxiety  is the feeling caused by lack of worthiness that a person might have, it is the lack of having a strong sens of love and belonging. It is the feeling of wether you are good enough or not.

The difference between anxious people and people who are NOT anxious is that people who are not anxious have a strong sense of love and connection to other people, these are people who BELIEVE they are worthy of love and belonging, that’s they believe they are worthy.

 While on the other hand, anxious people are people who have the FEAR that they are not worthy of connection, they don’t feel that sens of worthiness. And this is the main reason behind anxiety and behind WHY people with anxiety tend to be alone with themselves all the time.


So to overcome your anxiety you have to believe that you are worthy of connection, love and belonging to a certain group of people.

here are some articles that may help you believe that you are worthy of connection:

• Change your story, change your life
• Talk to yourself in a constructive way    

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Overcoming Social Anxiety. Part 8

As we said in the previous article that changing the story  that we tell ourselves will automatically change how we look at ourselves,  so we begin to look at ourselves and who we really are from a completely deferent perspective. And now, since we know how to overcome social anxiety, we need the change missing ingredient. 

The main role of this ingredient is to help us bridge between what we intend to do and taking the necessary action to make that happen. To make what we truely want becomes a reality. So the change missing ingredient is :   

N°8 Develop courage.

All around the world there are millions of people that neither you nor I know. These people are great, more knowledgeable and more sofisticated. But the question is why we don’t see those peolpe on TV shows ? Why media doesn’t talk about them ? Why we don’t know them ?

 These people even if they are great at what they do, even if they have more knowledge than those who are on TV shows, and even if they are more sofisticated than those who are famous, they need the missing ingredient that will take them from the level of the not known to the level of the well known. You know what they lack, They lack COURAGE.

There are many people who have great dreams that would make them make a deffirence in this world but because they didn’t have enough courage they died with their dreams in their minds.

There are also others that it took them several years to first find out why things didn’t work out for them. And once they knew it, it took them another several years to develop that skill to help them break through and live the life they dreamed about. And eventually they made it because they didn't give up easily.
  
Ovrcoming social anxiety needs COURAGE in the first place. Because if you are courageous you can develop the competence  to overcome almost any challenge in your life, however,  if you are competent and knowledgeable but you don’t have courage you will never succeed.

Why people most of the time say that they are not confident or they don’t have enough confidence to do something. And the same applies to you. The problem is not that you are unconfident, the REAL problem is that you only don’t have enough courage to step out and accomplish the things you would like to accomplish before , I am sorry, you DIE.

Confidence is simply the courage needed to accomplish a given task or to overcome certain obstacles in your life. So if you work hard to develop your courage, your confidence will evolve. Because your confidence is litterally a true reflection of your inner courage.  

To overcome social anxiety you need COURAGE. It’s only courge that will turn you around. COURAGE will make of you who you want to be IF you develop it.


The process of overcoming social anxiety will take you a life time, and you’ll do nothing, if you don’t have the courage. For all those who couldn’t overcome social anxiety, they didn’t know that they need courage and they didn’t even try to find out what would help them to overcome it. They didn’t know the missing piece of the puzzle. 

Courage, boldness or guts that’s the cure to social anxiety. For it takes a lot of guts to make change.


And remember : “IT TAKES COURAGE TO GROW UP AND TURN OUT TO BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE“ and also 

“COURAGE IS NOT THE ABSCENECE OF FEAR,  IT IS THE ABILITY TO ACT IN THE PRESENCE OF FEAR“ Bruce Lee.

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Overcoming Social Anxiety. Part 2

overcoming  social anxiety  is one of the greatest issues that people are suffering from nowadays, and there are plenty of solutions that are meant to be the key solutions for overcoming social anxiety.


 

 As I told you before that no idea works untill you put it into action. Yes, no idea works untill you put it into action, and Iam sorry but I think that you are likely not going to do anything from what we said and from what we are going to say concerning overcoming social anxiety. You know why ? because you are afraid of pain, you think that you can’t handle the pain of overcoming social anxiety, I mean you are still discounting yourself. But I’ll tell you one thing. Pain is a crucial part of the game. So we’re going to talk about the second idea on how to overcome social anxiety which says :

N°2 If there is no PAIN there is no GAIN.

   You have to suffer the pain, you have to experience its pressure over you  and even follow through IF you want to make any change. And if you want to know how to overcome  social anxiety or how social people have become that social you have to experience the pain of overcoming social anxiety. I didn’t say you should experience the pain but I said you HAVE TO experience that pain IF you want to become the person of your dreams. But if you are not willing to take the risk, to change who you are,  you can simply crawl back in your hole and watch those who are willing to take the risk changing their lives and becoming who they really want to be. 

   Overcoming social anxiety is a painful process, however being socially anxious for the rest of your life or for any extended periode of time is one of the most painful states a person may live with during their lives, and the more you try to AVOIDE the pain of overcoming social anxiety, believe me, the WORSE it will get. 

    So what are you going to chose ? Are you going to chose to experience the pain no matter how bad it is and suffer for a week, a month or even a year and then we anounce you the winner, or you rather chose to avoide it and live with the fear of being around people and suffer the pain of social anxiety for the rest of your life. You know why the choice is yours? Because your life is  the result of YOUR choices.

    You know what is great about pain is that it is temporary, pain is not eternal, it may last for a certain periode of time no matter how long it is, and it will disappear IF you do it and experience that pain. But if you quit your pain will last forever.

     I want you to make sure that the pain of social anxiety will never go away by itself  IF you don’t do any thing to overcome it. I want just to remind you that all what you are going to do about overcoming social anxiety is going to be painful, just keep that in mind whenever you make or try to make any attempt to overcome social anxiety.

 So be willing to risk as Less Brown says“ If you’re not willing to risk, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot be your best. If you cannot be your best, you cannot be happy. If you cannot be happy, what else is there? “  Yes, Less. What else is there?

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Overcoming Social Anxiety

Overcoming  social anxiety or how to overcome social anxiety is one of the greatest issues that people are suffering from nowadays, eventhough there are plenty of solutions that are meant to be the key solutions for overcoming social anxiety. And we’re going to talk about some ideas that, I believe, will help you learn how to overcome social anxiety.

 As we've seen in pervious articles the causes that lead us to be traped and become socially anxious. In this article and the next articles we're going to talk about some of the practical ideas that will help you learn how to overcome social anxiety.
 

N°1.  No idea works UNTILL you apply it.

I know that you know many ways concerning how to overcome social anxiety, easily, or may be you know thousands of ideas about overcoming social anxiety. You may be read a bunch of books about the topic, but for some reason you are still in your place having your main problem still unresolved. So your problem in this case is that you probably don’t apply  your knowledge, your ideas and information about a given challenge. You don’t do anything with what you know about overcoming social anxiety or about how to overcome social anxiety in order to free yourself from this heavy burden. You do nothing. The only thing you are doing is just recieving information and knowledge about what matters for you but you do nothing about it, you are just recieving. And believe me knowledge is not power.

The real power is you apply the knowldge you have about either overcoming social anxiety or anything else you truely want to deal with in a successful way. The real power is to apply the knowldge that you have, to do something with it in order to face your challenges and make the change you want to make in your life. And by the way, since you know how to overcome social anxiety, why you still didn’t do anything about it ? This question is going to be answered in a coming article.

So what I want you to do today since we are talking about overcoming social anxiety, is I want you to do me a favour. Consider it as an exercise, ok. I want you to take one step at a time, only one tiny step at a time and take just a little action using what you know and challenge yourself. Just DO one thing no matter how small it is, no matter how trivial it is but just DO it anyway. And remember that I believe in you, I believe that you know  how to DO it, I believe that you know how to overcome social anxiety BUT bear in mind that no idea works, no matter how great it is, UNTILL you put it into action. 

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How To Overcome Social Anxiety. Part3

Overcoming social anxiety is not that big problem that many people find it difficult to deal with or think it’s difficult to free themselves of it, to completely overcome that social anxiety and to become more and more social. And here are some tips to help overcoming social anxiety :

What is social anxiety ?

as we've seen in previous articles the causes of social anxiety  the causes that leads to social anxiety the causes that lead to social anxiety . Here are the last two things that may cause to suffer from social anxiey. and in the next articles we're going to talk about some practical solutions to help you overcoming social anxiety.

N°5 You’re not perfect : Are you perfect? blindly I can say "no", you aren’t. And  one of the most important things that you have to know is that neither you nor me are perfect.

We’re not Perfect and we were created to make mistakes, and being imperfect is one of the greatest gifts that we have. We can make mistakes and instead of blaming ourselves or feeling embarrassed, we can simply say IAM NOT PERFECT, Iam not an angel. That’s it, it’s that easy but the problem is that we’re in a society that magnifies the trivial mistakes that we make.

We feel ashamed just because we spilled some milk on the floor, and our parents instead of saying it’s ok and taking a towel and clean the floor they start their blaming, insulting and complaining speech over us. And what we do in order to avoide that pain, we go to our room and close on ourselves. And at the age of 4-7 years we begin to enjoy our solitude, our loneliness, since it is pain free. This little problem leads us to becoming introverted, this problem evolves and becomes what’s called social anxiety.

So whenever we encouter any tiny problem outside, and because we didn’t learn to face our problems at a young age,we run away home, go upstairs to our room, our safe castle and begin to spend hours and hours there afraid to go out. So please make mistakes, it’s your right. You are not perfect and you’ll never be perfect. And if you don’t make mistakes know that you didn’t try anything new that would help revolutionize your life, or simply help you at least overcome social anxiety and become the person you want to be.

N°6 : Lack of courage: many people know what to do to overcoming social anxiety, they know how to do it and they know the outcome they’re going to get, which they wish for, if they do it. But for some reason they don’t do it. Have you ever asked yourself that? Have you ever asked yourself why Iam doing nothing to deal with this problem? Why I let it take me over? The answer to these questions, and many others, is that you don’t have the courage to stand up for yourself and deal with your real issues.

You’re not courageous, you don’t have the guts to face your problems, you prefer to avoide them or put them aside. But the good news is that you can develop courage and become as bold as a lion. You can become courageous through doing many things such as listening to positive messages and motivational videos, listen to them again and again and again. Read some self help books, because information changes situations. And remember that you can become as bold as a lion, if you stop discounting yourself.     

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How to Overcome Social Anxiety. Part2

To overcoming social anxiety is not that big problem that many people find it difficult to deal with or think it’s difficult to free themselves of it, to completely overcome that social anxiety and to become more and more social. And here are some tips to help overcoming social anxiety :

What causes social anxiety? Part2

As we’ve seen in the previous article, some of what causes social anxiety were discounting oneself and lack of self approval. Today we’re going to talk about the other two crucial things that cause you social anxiety :

N°3 Lack of confidence: one of the definitions of confidence is doing what you fear, but the problem with you as well as others is that I know that you know how to overcome social anxiety but for some reason you don’t do anything about it. You come up with many excuses why not to do it, and the main reason behind all these excuses is FEAR. Fear of facing your fear of being around people, fear of being in social gatherings. 

You don’t have the courage to take that leap to go out and find out, you rather prefer to come up with excuses not to do it than to feel the fear and do it anyway. And remember, if you look for reasons not to do it, you’ll find them. But if you want to change who you are for the better, you can. And this is important “ You can make excuses, millions of excuses, or you can simply overcoming social anxiety but you cannot do them both.“

N°4 The comfort zone: The comfort zone is the zone of comfort and relaxation. It is your zone where you feel at ease because it is pain free. It is free from trouble and from pain, and there are two main forces that drive people, and these forces are Happiness and Pain. People tend to do things that make them feel happy and try to avoide the painful situations that they have to breakthrough, and that’s your problem as well. 

You want to overcoming social anxiety but at the same time you  want to avoide the pain that your attempt may generate, and that’s what Paulo Coelho says “ People want to change everything and, at the same time, want it all to remain the same.“ We want to change everything and we want to stay in our comfort zone as well. And remember, you can get out of your comfort zone and overcome social anxiety, or you can sit in your comfort zone and do nothing, but you cannot do them both.

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How To Overcome Social Anxiety. PART1

Overcoming social anxiety is not that big problem that many people find it difficult to deal with or think it’s difficult to free themselves of it, and to completely overcome that social anxiety and to become more and more social. And here are some tips to help overcoming social anxiety:

WHAT IS SOCIAL ANXIETY ?

Social anxiety is that feeling that comes to you whenever you are surrounded with people that you kow or you don’t know. That awkward feeling that makes you feel not at ease when you are with people. That feeling that prevents you from expressing yourself freely in front of people, to express your beliefs, values, the way you feel about something and to express your true self, or try to avoide facing people because you are somewhat AFRAID of something.

What causes social anxiety. Part1

N°1 Discounting oneself : have you ever asked yourself questions like this : why I feel that way when Iam around people ? Why Iam not rather happy when I interact with people ? Why I don't like to be with people? Honestly, the answer to all these questions is that you are looking down upon yourself, you think that you are not worthy, you think that people don’t deserve to be with you. And believe me that’s what makes you broke not only in the area of overcoming social anxiety but also in all the other areas in your life, because there is a saying that says : “what makes people broke is that they constantly keep discounting themselves.“ What makes people socially anxious and unable to interact with people is that they keep looking down on themselves. So never discount yourself anymore, you are already awesome just the way you are.

N°2 Lack of self approval : Many people hate to do many things, when they are alone, but once they see someone they either freeze and don’t do anything for they feel shy or embarrassed, or they start to behave in a different way and they start to talk in a different way. They change everything, they give up who they are and they become completely someone else and they do so just to impress people and to avoide awkward situations. 

We try to impress people because we want them to approve what we do so we feel satisfied even if we completely dislike what we are doing and because we are afraid to stand up for ourselves and do what we want not what others want. We give others more importance than we give ourselves but the moment you start feeling that you are important you'll begin to overcoming social anxiety and become more social. 

So stop trying to impress all the people and start to impress yourself, start to love yourself, unconditional love, as you are, start to enjoy yourself because if you don’t love yourself you won’t love your life and if you don’t enjoy yourself you won’t enjoy your life.

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